I first read about the “petty tyrant” in the Carlos Castaneda book titled, The Fire from Within. The concept of the petty tyrant refers to individuals who serve as catalysts for personal growth and enlightenment through their challenging behavior. If you have the opportunity to experience someone like this, try not to shy away from it.
I’ve had the privilege (yes it really is a privilege) to experience a few of these in my life, and to say that they are trying is an understatement. These people go against your core values, see you as less than, and often times treat you as such. The particular individual that comes to mind has such a heightened sense of self that they must offset your shine and positivity in order to make themselves feel more secure and in control. These kinds of behaviors are easy to recognize, yet they are sometimes difficult to manage, especially when you must interact with them.
The most recent petty tyrant took me a little by surprise. I always go into new situations with an open mind and an open heart, giving the individual benefit of the doubt. Initial smiles and encouragement were well received by myself, and I left feeling optimistic. However, that first level of comfort was rather quickly met with caution. The way certain things were said. Omissions of facts. Claiming to know more than they did. As time went on, words became more direct, all while being given with a smile. To disclaim, I’m not an overly sensitive person. You can literally say anything to me and I’ll most likely laugh or simply ignore it if words were meant to cause harm. What is different in the case I’m referring to is that there is a power differential…and that’s a problem.
Dealing with the petty tyrant can test your spiritual fortitude more than you may initially realize. It’s in retrospect that you find something that was said was actually passive aggressive or downright mean. It’s when your meeting ends and you find yourself feeling drained and unsure of yourself, that you start to realize the impact that this kind of person can have on you. When this understanding takes hold, it’s time for action. Once I realized the situation I was in, it was time to change my perspective and realize that this was an opportunity for growth. In the beginning I was angry…offended…pissed. As I switched my view of what was happening, my anger dissipated. I saw this person as they are. Someone struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy. who is perhaps challenged by someone who isn’t like them. Someone who can speak confidently and meet people face to face without having to act like an insufferable know it all. My anger was replaced with acceptance. This person has no true power or control over me…that responsibility falls on my shoulders. Now I simply smile and see the situation in a new light. Putting my own ego aside and seeing this individual from a different angle empowers me to act and not re-act to the situation. Cheers to you, you petty tyrant! You have my gratitude!
