Over the last few years, I found myself paying more and more attention to the news and to current events. I was in the know on pretty much everything that was going on in the world from politics, to wars, to he said, she said, etc. I had either heard the story or knew the ins and outs of what went on behind the scenes. I felt that it was important to know what was going on around me, and it gave me a sense of pride to be able to have conversations with nearly anyone, because I was paying so much attention to the news of the day. And it was good…until it wasn’t.
I found that I was getting angry very easily. I was becoming sad. And as I grew more and more despondent, I started to kind of pull away. There is a folksy, indie band that I like called Lowen and Navarro, and they have a lovely song called “The Opposite Of Everything” and this is where I was. I’d gotten caught up in the bullshit of the world and it was having a detrimental effect on me. I didn’t get caught up in silly arguments on social media, but I did have disagreements with family members and over what…a difference of opinion? Ridiculous.
So I stopped. I stopped watching. I stopped reading. I stopped listening. At first, it was kinda hard. I felt disconnected somehow. I had thoughts that I was missing out on valuable information. Turns out I was missing out…I was missing out on the vitriol, the pathetic grasping at straws, and ludicrous leaps in logic in order to prove a point or attempt to “win” an argument. Clarity of thought was gone. Critical thinking was non-existent.
I think my light is slowly but surely returning. I didn’t realize how dim it had become, but I’m glad that I realized it before I’d lost sight of who I was. This isn’t an ostrich with his head buried in the sand kind of thing…it’s self-preservation, and I’m ok with that.